Zig Ziglar said, “If you want the flu, just hang around people who have the flu!”
Association is perception & perception is the reality. The most significant targets of scrutiny when it comes to effects of the association are teenagers, whose minds are like wet cement, waiting for an imprint to take shape, to change and transform their fixed realities. In Book II of The Analects which contain fragments of dialogues between the great Chinese philosopher, Confucius and his disciples, the Master said, ‘The gentleman enters into associations, but not cliques; the small man enters into cliques but not associations.’
Associations with people who have a poor sense of right-doing and wrong-doing can leave one with horrendous habits, ranging from drinking, smoking, gambling, drug addiction to involvement in illicit and illegal sex scandals. An appropriate example is the former K-pop idol and BigBang member, Seungri, who is charged with illegal distribution of pornography and is currently under investigation for prostitution mediation, drugs, tax evasion and police collusion related to the crime-riddled night club Burning Sun, where he was a public relations director, in the posh Gangnam district, according to Gulf News. He notably spent more time at his night club associating with his 'business partners’ than with his band members and has spoken about his love for money and boasted his disrespect for women in several interviews.
S.M Mohsin, the author of Experiments in Psychology, introduced the two-step concept of association. The target, the person whose attitude is to be changed, identifies with the source, the person through whose influence the attitude change is to take place. When the source shows a change in attitude towards an attitude object, the target does the same. Thus, a strong liking among people can reshape mindsets.
In the Srimad Bhagavatam, there exists an epitome of the power of association. The story of Narad Muni and Mrigari is one of a sadistic hunter who used to torture and leaves the animal half-dead to see its suffering and extract pleasure from the same. Narada Muni said, “My dear hunter, your business is killing animals. That is a slight offence on your part, but when you consciously give them unnecessary pain by leaving them half-dead, you incur very great sins. Therefore, you will have to suffer in retaliation.” After the instructions were given, the hunter continued, “My dear sir, please tell me how I can be relieved from the reactions of my sinful life. Now I fully surrender unto you and fall at your lotus feet. Please deliver me from sinful reactions.” As the course of Narad Muni’s association prevails, this is an excerpt which witnesses Mrigari’s transformation to a Vaishnava, “When the hunter chanted the Hare Krsna maha-mantra before his spiritual master, his body trembled, and tears welled in his eyes. Filled with ecstatic love, he raised his hands and began to dance, waving his garments up and down.”
Association with scriptures and books ranging from biographies like Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts to Princess, a non-fiction book about the struggles of Saudi Arabian women, can create a strong moral compass among millennials, while too much fantasy during adolescence can shape one’s language, thoughts, actions and notions of reality in a negative manner, as reasoned by Beth Bartlett at HuffPost.
Our environment plays an important role in influencing our mindset and shaping our attitude. Too much socializing at pubs, expensive restaurants or even social media tends to bend us towards more anxiety, low self-esteem, sense gratifying consciousness and causes dopamine dysregulation. Open-air sites, participating in team sports and various workshops, visiting museums, exhibitions benefit the juvenile by helping him/her understand past struggles, cultures, noted personalities and valuing preservation which in turn aids character building.
Transposing further, when associating with technology, addictive or immoderate use is usually accompanied by an impaired sense of time and neglect of basic needs, such as hunger or sleep. It can have negative repercussions like social isolation, having unnecessary arguments, fatigue, problems at school or work, lack of achievement or lying. The addict may experience feelings of restlessness, moodiness, depression or irritability. On the other hand, a limited use, for research, study and learning purposes can help one acquire an awareness of social issues. TEDx and TEDEd are the idealistic examples of technology 'put to good use'. From the writings of Mesopotamia to a free download of a movie from a pirated site, there is wide-ranging and diverse information on the Internet, the choice, however, can only be one and may it be wise.
The results that follow these two approaches of associations have a monumental difference. The results simply bring out how our lives and daily activities differ from one another, which is the hidden existence of our associations and how we perceive reality. Some can’t take themselves off from Snapchat and Instagram, some from PUBG and CS: GO, some from junk food, some from binge-watching Netflix and Amazon Prime, some cannot abandon spirituality, meditation, reading, writing, music, exercising, studying, even everyday chores. Such differences hence, determine which associations are good or bad.
Rev Lucy Natasha says, “The people in your life either train you or develop you. In the Bible it is clear, God has told you to love your neighbour. He has commanded you to love your neighbour but he has not commanded to make everyone your friend, love is a must but relationship is by choice.”
Former United States National Security Advisor, Colin Powell said on The Human Element, “If you run with wolves, you will learn how to howl, but if you associate with eagles, you will learn how to soar to great heights.”